Around the Galaxy in Eighty Days
by Between the Fire and the Storm
Summary: Jules Verne's classic, Star Wars style! Yoda and Palpatine make a bet which results in Obi-Wan and his hapless padawan, Anakin, being sent across the Republic with the deadline of eighty days. With love and bounty hunters getting in their way, will they make it? And better yet, do they even want to?
1. Chapter 1

Around the Galaxy in Eighty Days

Chancellor Palpatine was a very busy man. What with being a Sith Lord, running the Republic, plotting to take over the galaxy, and maintaining the picturesque image of evil, he hardly had any time for himself. But the one thing he always had time for was his weekly game of Go-Fish with Jedi Master Yoda.

Ever since Palpatine had taken office as Senator for Naboo they had met on the last day of every week to play. It had started off as a way for him to make the little green fellow stop bragging about how good he was at it and that Palpatine "to chicken to play, he is." With time, however, Palpatine had grown to enjoy the leisure time- in spite of Yoda's tendency to babble on and on and constantly change the rules. This is also why Palpatine had yet to ever win a game.

Today, Master Yoda was unusually quiet as he fiddled with his cards on the other side of Palpatine's desk. "Any Gungans, have you?"

Palpatine glanced down at his cards and stated triumphantly, "Go fish!"

The Jedi grunted and pulled a card from the stack. His frown turned into a grin and he played his two Gungan cards down on the desk. "Any humans, have you?"

"Master Yoda, is something bothering you?" He asked with as much sincerity as he could muster.

Yoda sighed and his little ears drooped. "Hide it, I cannot. Read an article today, I did."

"An article?"

"Yes. Said that make it around the galaxy in eighty days, a person could."

"Ah yes, I read that to." Palpatine said, trying to make small talk. "Didn't it say something about only using public modes of transportation? And I do believe it was the Republic, not the entire galaxy. What's so disturbing about that?"

Yoda slammed his little fist down onto the desk. "The galaxy it was! And impossible this task is!"

"Now, Master Yoda, I distinctly remember that it said the Republic, including the outer-rim territories-"

"Galaxy!"

"-and theoretically, it is possible."

"A theory is all it is." Master Yoda went back to casually shuffling his cards.

"Now wait just a minute!" Palpatine laid his cards face down on the desk. "I think it is possible!"

"Why?"

"Because they said it is. They even made an itinerary and allotted for- " Yoda laughed, causing Palpatine's cheeks to grow pink with anger. "Stop laughing!"

Yoda instantly regained his composure and stared the chancellor squarely in the eye. "Only one way to settle this, there it. Send two Jedi to attempt the task, I will."

"Jedi? You're going to send two Jedi?" Now it was Palpatine's turn to laugh. "Why if there was anything you lousy Jedi could mess up-" Yoda gave him a cold glare. "Uh, I mean: that's a marvelous idea. Why don't you send two Jedi to do it?"

"Good."

"First thing tomorrow morning, you and your Jedi will meet me back here in my office."

"In eighty days, see who's right, we will." Yoda said smugly as he laid down another pair of cards.

"And may the best man win."

"Hey! Man, I am not! Little green thing, I am!"

* * *

"You what!" Mace Windu gaped at Master Yoda as they sat alone in the Jedi Council chambers.

"Made a bet with the chancellor, I did."

"Over a news article?" Yoda nodded. "Master, what exactly did you bet?"

"If right I am, forgive me of the incident at his birthday party, he will."

"Well you have to admit, pouring detergent into his water fountains was rather immature."

"Insulted me he had!"

"Whatever."

"Find me two Jedi for this task you will!"

Mace rolled his eyes and nodded. "Wait, Master Yoda. You didn't tell me what would happen if he wins."

"Not important, that is."

"Yes, important, that is!"

Yoda rubbed his hands together nervously. "Eheh, keep the two Jedi, he will."

Mace stared at him blankly in disbelief. "You- you-" Yoda laughed nervously. "Keep them? Master, you can't just give people away! That's not right! Besides, what would he do with them?"

Yoda shrugged. "Know, I do not. But find me the two, you will. Fine it will be," he waved his hand casually, "impossible to make it, it is." With that, Yoda got up and left Mace to figure all this out.

"Now if I had nothing else to lose," he said to himself, "what two Jedi would I want rid of the most?" He sat in deep thought for a moment when two people suddenly came to mind, and a smile spread across his face. "I'm sorry, old friend, but the temple would be so much more peaceful without the two of you."

* * *

"Master, have you seen my toothbrush?" Obi-Wan sighed and lifted his eyes form the book he had been reading.

"Anakin, what would I be doing with your toothbrush?" His padawan popped his head around the corner.

"It's a simple question requiring a simple answer."

"Yes, I kidnapped it and am holding it hostage until you clean up that room of yours."

"So- that's a 'no'?"

"No."

Anakin came into full view and leaned against the doorframe. "'No' as in you haven't seen it? or 'no' as in in you have?"

"Anakin, I do not know where your toothbrush is." The boy did not move. "What?"

"Um, could you help me find it?" Obi-Wan rolled his eyes and went back to his book. "Oh come on! I've looked everywhere!"

"Did you try the refresher?"

"Of course!"

Obi-Wan sighed again and stood up, setting the book down on the couch. "There is just one thing I have to ask- how do you manage to lose something that you only use in the 'fresher?" Anakin shrugged. "Fine. You looked in your room?"

"Yes."

"Then that leaves the living room and the kitchen because it most certainly had better not be in my room. You look in the kitchen, I'll look in here. Okay?"

" 'kay."

For over an hour, Master and Padawan turned their quarters inside out in the search for Anakin's missing toothbrush. Obi-Wan sighed as he was now surrounded by what once made up the living room. Furniture was turned over and books and pictures were spread all over the floor. From the kitchen there came the sound of breaking glass. "Oh, Anakin." Obi-Wan moaned quietly to himself.

Every now and then, he was reminded of why no one else had wanted to take Anakin as a padawan. The boy was talented- of that there was no doubt- but he was also absentminded, carless, and short-tempered. Obi-Wan saw it and had risen to the challenge, and Anakin was unmistakably just that- a challenge.

Obi-Wan groaned when someone knocked at their door. "Come in. Hello, Master Windu."

"Obi-Wan," Mace's eyes ran over the mess before him as he stepped in, "did something explode?"

"Not yet." Obi-Wan raised one brow in frustration and turned the couch upright.

"Master! Master, I found it!" Anakin came running in, toothbrush in hand. "Oh, hello, Master Windu."

"Anakin."

"Where did you find it?" Obi-Wan crossed his arms and prepared himself for whatever stupid answer that was about to come out of his padawan's mouth.

"Uh, I- well..."

"Anakin!" Both Anakin and Master Windu jumped at Obi-Wan's sudden change in tone- and volume.

Anakin's eyes widened and he swallowed hard. "It was in the 'fresher."

"Was it now? So we just tore this place apart for nothing?" He started towards Anakin. "Do you have any idea-"

"Uh, excuse me?" Mace stepped in. "I hate to interrupt your bonding time, but I have an assignment for you." Obi-Wan and Anakin gave Mace their partial attention. "You two will leave tomorrow on a public transport. You're to, uh, go around the Republic in eighty days.

"Why?"

"Anakin, it is not your place to question Master Windu. Incidentally, Master- why?"

"Well, Yoda made a bet with the Chancellor as to whether or not it can be done."

Anakin laughed. "Of course it can be done."

"You're only allowed to use public transportation systems."

"It can't be done." Anakin turned dead serious.

"Well, Anakin, I guess you had better pack that toothbrush of yours- that we spent forever looking for." Obi-Wan glanced down and saw that Anakin's hands were now empty. "What did you do with it?"

"Uh..." Anakin shrugged his shoulders.

"How did you manage to lose it by just standing there?"

"Well I don't know!"

"Anakin..." Obi-Wan's eyes were filled with anger- no irritation. He was a Jedi. "There is no anger. There is no anger. There is no anger..."

Mace slowly backed away from the pair. "I'm just going to leave now." He made a speedy exit out the door.

Obi-wan slowly rubbed the bridge of his nose, keeping his eyes tightly shut.

"Master?" Obi-Wan did not answer. "Master, I'm sorry." Still nothing. "Master? Please say _something_."

Obi-Wan let out an exaggerated groan. "This is going to be a very, very long trip."


	2. Chapter 2

"Are you sure we have everything, Master?" Obi-Wan rolled his eyes when Anakin asked the question again as they boarded the transport.

"For the hundredth time, Anakin, we have everything."

"Then why do I feel like I forgot something?" Obi-Wan shrugged. He did not know, and he did not care.

They took seats opposite of each other and settled down as the transport prepared to take off. "We have the itinerary, right?"

"Yes."

"Credits?"

"Yes."

"My toothbrush?"

"Anakin , we've got all we need." Obi-Wan laid his head back and rested his eyes.

The transport was old and somewhat dirty. Aliens and droids gathered in the booths, chattering, growling, and screeching to each other as announcements were made over the intercom. With a jolt, the ship took off, slowly rising through the atmosphere. "Master?"

"What." Obi-Wan sat up some.

"Where are we going first?"

"Tatooine."

"Why?"

"To make you ask me pointless questions."

"Seriously, why?"

"I don't know."

Anakin stared out the window for a long moment before turning back to Obi-Wan with an inquisitive look on his face. "Shouldn't you?"

"Anakin, follow my example and take a nap." He heard Anakin sigh dramatically, but otherwise his padawan had grown quiet. At last.

"Master! I just remembered what I forgot!"

Obi-Wan groaned. "Is it something that I care about?"

"I left the kitchen sink running." Obi-Wan sat up completely and looked at the Anakin, who, unfortunately, appeared to be dead serious.

"Please tell me you're joking." The boy shook his head. "Well that's great, just great!"

"Well, someone will turn it off eventually..."

"Yes, we will- in eighty days!"

"Someone is going to have to do it before then. It still has the stopper in it from when I was washing the dishes this morning."

"Congratulations, Anakin, you've just managed to flood the entire twelfth floor of the Jed temple!"

"Sorry."

Obi-Wan shut his eyes and slammed his head back, but instead of sleeping like had wanted to, his mind kept going in circles about his padawan's stupidity. This was going to be a long, long trip, and an interesting one, to say the least.

* * *

Qui-Gon Jin knocked on the door to Anakin and Obi-Wan's quarters. He had just returned form a peace mission and had promised Anakin that he would bring back a souvenir. He was so proud of Obi-Wan. His former padawan had turned out to be an excellent Jedi Knight. And Anakin, well Anakin was just adorable. Qui-Gon spoiled the boy like he was his grandson.

When no one answered after several minutes, Qui-Gon started to grow suspicious. He was certain that he had heard something from inside. Slowly, he opened the door. "Obi-Wan?" He stepped inside and looked down when the floor made a squishy sound. The carpet was completely soaked!

* * *

"Do you have any protocol droids?" Anakin peered over his cards at Obi-Wan

"No." There was a moment of awkward silence.

"Master, you're supposed to say 'go fish.'"

"What difference does it make? The answer's still the same."

"It's just how you play."

"No, it's how _you_ play." Obi-Wan laid his cards down in his lap and stared at them viciously. "This is a stupid game. Where did you get this?"

"Master Yoda taught me."

"That would explain it." Anakin, seeing that his Master was not going to continue the game anytime soon, gathered up the cards and put them in the satchel containing everything they had brought. It was not much. Anakin wandered why people needed so many bags for a few days while he and Obi-Wan had only one for a whole eighty days. Then again, they were Jedi. They did not need anything; except for maybe clothes and food and water.

"And air, we need that." Anakin whispered to himself. "Hey, Master."

"Hmm?"

"Are we there yet?"

"We are ten minutes closer than the last time I said 'no.'"

* * *

"Mace!" Master Windu was broken from his meditation by a crazed Qui-Gon storming into the Council chambers and shaking him violently by the shoulders. "Where's my padawan!"

"Wha- you don't have a padawan."

"Obi-Wan! Where's Obi-Wan!"

"Oh," Mace pushed him away, "you meant 'former padawan.'"

"Where is he!"

"Not here."

Qui-Gon snorted as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Clearly."

"Calm down. I sent him and Anakin on a top-secret mission."

"No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did."

"Mace, you don't even like Anakin."

He grew defensive. "So! Maybe I thought they were the best choice, in skill."

"You are the one that's always calling Anakin a sloppy, egotistic, good-for-nothin'-"

"Okay, okay! They're going around the Republic in eighty days." Mace received a blank stare.

"Why?"

"To see if they could do it."

"Why would they care?"

"They don't. Yoda wants to see if they could do it."

"Again, why?"

"Look, Yoda made a bet with the chancellor saying that they couldn't make it around the Republic using public transports in that amount of time."

"What nonsense! He's betting against us? Why that slimy, little green Jedi jerk!"

"Uh, anyway-"

"Wait." Qui-Gon held up a hand. "What happens if and when they make it in time?"

"Huh?"

"When they make it that means Yoda loses. What happens then?"

Mace swallowed hard as he prepared his answer. "Let's just say it involves the chancellor keeping them."

Qui-Gon seemed to take it better than he thought. "Seriously, what happens?"

"I just told you." There was a long silence while the two of them just stared at each other.

"You sent them on a mission- that you- and they- I'm going to rip your throat out!" Qui-Gon was growing red in the face. _Now_ he was taking it as Mace had thought he would. "What were you thinking!"

"It's was Yoda's bet. Yell at him."

"Does Obi-Wan know about this?"

"Um, probably not."

"Mace if anything happens to them, I am holding you personally responsible!"

"Again, this is Yoda's fault." Qui-Gon did not say anything more but stormed out leaving Mace all alone once again. "What's his problem?"


End file.
